Still not unpacked. I lost my energy sometime midweek, and while I managed to clear all but one box out of the dining room everything else is a mess. I manage to keep my kitchen clean and clothes washed but everything else just feels like its too much. And my insomnia has returned. I finally get into my own home, a nice bed, and I can't sleep. Go figure.
The autumn is a time of restless for me. I distinctly remember not only feeling restless but writing about it last year about this same time. Perhaps it's just that I feel so dreadfully overwhelmed by life. At this time, it all too often feels like everything is coming apart. This is the time when I began to second guess my whole life (minus H and children, I'm still pretty ok about them). This year it's felt like the support I had at school has fallen away. Couple this with just feeling like the whole MA in Religious Studies feels amazingly self-indulgent. But there is still a part of me that loves what I do and wonders if I'd love anything else as much. Plus there's that stupid thesis...written and hidden away on my hard drive. The thesis I literally have not looked at in almost six months. I know I need to face that demon.
And this is all just making me feel like I want to run away. But it's awfully hard to run away when you're a grown up.
I am feeling like writing again but I have no time. Until I have time, I'm going to post pictures of Mexico. I'll start with the beginning of our journey...a step backwards into memory.