And slovenly as well. I feel a tad guilty as laziness is one of the SEVEN DEADLY SINS.
I've gotten better but I can feel that after an initial two weeks of gung ho scheduling, I'm already starting to loose steam and my house may be a huge mess soon. I'm trying to muster up the energy each day to clean and honestly it's hard. It's a lot more fun to watch things grow on Facebook. Cleaning house is not fun. At all. It's even less fun when you have four beasties who mess it up as fast you clean.
Of course that's just another excuse because with a little bit of effort I could actually fight with said beasties and try to raise them into humans who do not live slovenly. But I'm lazy remember? Sometimes that fight seems like too much effort. These are all just excuses. I have plenty of excuses: I'm tired (which is true when your baby beasties wakes up on the hour to nurse). I'm busy (sort of true, I do teach). Once I run out of excuses, I get defiant and rebellious. Well who cares about a clean house anyway? Cleaning is just a Victorian creation designed to keep idle women busy so they don't have nervous breakdowns. Who really needs their house to be as clean as the modern demands anyway?
But what it really boils down is that of all the deadly sins, laziness is my curse. What a hard thing to admit. I suspect much of the laziness comes from having a very undisciplined self. I am not good at making myself do things. I put stuff off to the last minute. I'm eh about editing my papers because it takes effort and time. I slap off half-assed writing things all the time (including here but hey it is MY blog). I have many, many things I'd like to do but I'm too lazy to really focus on perfecting even one of these things.
My laziness does not make me a better person. It makes a mediocre person. I feel rather disappointed in myself. There is so much MORE I could be doing with my time. More that I could be doing for those I love. It's hard to look in the mirror and face these major character flaws but it's time. I have four beasties who look to me as a guide and I can already them falling to into my lazy habits. I want better for them. And I do think that it's better to follow through with things. To put as much effort as you have into projects that mean something to you.
So...off to clean the house because this small step is the beginning I hope of a more disciplined year.