When I'm listless, sometimes I prowl the internet looking at clothes. I try to figure out what jumps out at me. It seems easier this way. No horrible lights. No mirrors. No commitment to buy. I just search and sometimes I see things that stand out. I file this information away wondering if my unconscious is subtly choosing my new self through the clothes of which I make note. This begs the question: Do the clothes create the person or does the person create the clothes?
I found this website a few months ago. It stood out and I bookmarked it. The clothes were pricey and I was nowhere near my weight loss goal. But it was one of those moments where I looked and though "Ahha this is it. I had a similar moment when watching The Brothers Bloom and decided that I really wanted to dress like one of the characters. I didn't really pursue too deeply why I was feeling these things. I just noted and moved on for various reasons.
Now I am looking back at this trail of clothes and shifting through to find out why. Why do these clothes appeal to me? What is it about that look that makes me think it suits who I am now? What do stories will these clothes tell me about myself?
For one, I realized they are all modest. They are not prudish or frumpy but they are modest. This is something that has recently become a concern for me. I find that I am desiring to be more modest in my dress. I think that, for me, this modesty is about respect. I no longer want to flaunt what I have (and don't have) in order to gain attention. This attention really does not make me feel better about myself. In fact, it often makes me feel worst. Modesty does not mean I wish to hide my body away or that I ashamed. Rather modesty speaks of a deep respect for my body, and that my body is something I want to honor. I do not need to display it to gain approval.
The clothes are simple and classic. They are not flashy but they are not dowdy. Instead they look like clothes that I can wear for many years. They will stay in style because they are not flash in the night kind of pieces. They are steady and dependable but also lovely.
These are quality clothes as reflected in their price tag (yikes!). I don't need to own a lot of clothes but rather I can subsist on a few quality pieces that will last. They are not the cheap clothes I end up buying and then discarding. These are clothes that work towards sustainability .
And they are fun. The character in The Brothers Bloom wears fun quirky pieces. They are sexy in a charming fun way. They are youthful but not young.
These are working clothes. Most them could be worn while chasing beasties down. They could also be worn to work be that teaching or catching babies.
All in all I feel that this is who I am, and that these clothes will tell a story about me that I am okay with people reading.