My last post was not as clear as I had intended. First, I am not pointing fingers, or calling anyone out. People who don't like me certainly have that right. And for the record no one has come out and said "Wow Ginger you suck." I am speaking of my own position where I am finding a hard time finding something.This something might not ever exist. And my expectations that this would be the place where I would find this magical something (in terms of female relationships) has not materialized.
When I was in Charlotte, I watched as the woman around me paired off. They would form very close friendships. Go out for coffee. Go shopping together. Eat lunches. I was envious because I don't seem able to form these bonds with other women. I told H that what I wanted was someone like him who was female. In other words, I long for a BFF. Some one I can be myself with. Someone who forgives me my big mouth. Someone who wants to have coffee with me and talk about things. And I hoped that someone would have kids so we could spend time at each other's houses while the kids played. I thought Athens would be that place, and it's not.
Sometimes I wonder if this an expectation that is just not going to be meet. And I wonder if my expectations lead me to expect things too fast. It's hard because I have a group of "internet" friends that I meet while pregnant with my daughter. I love them, and value their friendship deeply. But they have set a high standard. Their friendship is almost painful because it's wonderful but they are not "here" in a way that I long for. I had hoped that perhaps, here, in Athens, I would meet those people in the flesh.