Today's picture from Rethink Church's Lenten photo-a-day challenge was "Love."
Jude is sick today. Her eyes have red circles in them. She has a hacking cough and ends up chocking on her own mucous. I'm horribly worried as I hold her close, watching for signs of breathing difficulties. She has a higher risk for RSV so I'm a mess. Even being this sick, she is so sweet though. As I hold her while typing she keeps smiling at me so I'll look at her. Her eyes sparkle with pleasure when I laugh her way. She started cooing a few minutes ago much to the delight of her siblings.They're worried too. Even R. She is adored and loved.
What's funny is that I worried I wouldn't be able to love this child. How odd to think that love would somehow not come because of an extra chromosome. Yet I hear so many stories of families unable to love a baby with Down syndrome. And in the darkest moments of night, I sometimes thought I would be that person and I hated myself a little bit. I also worried about the other children. Would they come to resent her? Would they see her as too different to love
But it was a groundless worry. She has touched us all. She is our beautiful world.